becoming situational, relational, + intentional

actions dictate our stories

A couple of months ago, I was visiting a weekly meeting from a local church. My sole purpose was to take photos of their "missional community" for their new church's website. If you have never heard the concept of a missional community, it is the primary way this church makes disciples, connects with others, and lives their lives on mission. They meet regularly to rest and share a meal, listen to one another and from God, serve the needs of each other as well as others in the community, and celebrate the finished work of Christ as it drives them out on mission. I have been friends with the pastor and his wife for almost a decade, and although my husband and I attend a church closer to our home, we tend to stop by for support and a lending hand when we are able.

The night that I visited, my friend, Corey, spoke on being situational, relational, and intentional with your life and your walk with God. I think that it is so easy to let each day pass and allow it to not stand out. I always try to force myself to view my life through the lenses of others, as if they were watching a movie of my entire life. I do not necessarily think that the movie would be about me, but about God; however, my part in the movie... would it stand out? Would I be a key character? Would I make a difference to the plot? And how?

I think as Christians, we are called to not be the character that just passes by in the movie reel of God's story; we are called to be game changers of organic compassion and love to others. And if we are actual catalysts for authentic love and joy in our situations, relationships, and intentions/actions, we would have our name scroll by in the credits at the end of the movie. Our names would be such minor, minute characters in the grand scheme of story; however, they would be there, that we made a difference.

We first talked during that night about knowing who "your people" are. These are the people you meet with regularly to ensure that no matter what life brings, there is a constant connection that is continuously maturing. These are the people that know you, through and through. They understand what your habits look like when you are joyful and how those may change if you are going through a season of hurt and healing. They are the ones that have you in their prayer list at night, and they are in yours. "Your people" do not form overnight, and they change over time. As friends get married, have babies, get new careers and new houses, "their people" or "your people" may transform with the changes.

We continued to discuss that as important as knowing who "your people" are, knowing where "your places" are needs to be just as defined. These are the places that you always go. By creating habitual hangout spots, you also will begin to intentionally make memories there. We talked about the Starbucks that we also went to during finals week in college, or the pub that everybody ended up at by 8 pm on a Saturday night regardless of other life plans. These places do not necessarily become "yours" without work; traditions take work and are not created on their own. And as obvious as this may be, I also have to remind myself that this will matter more in the future than in the present; it will be joy and productivity in my relationships during that season.

The last item we discussed was examining our calendar for gaps to become intentional. Life today seems so hectic, but over the years, I have been reminded time and time again that if I make time for the things that matter (i.e., bible study, church, volunteer time, coffee with a friend), God will provide the time. I have to remind myself consistently that relational growth will provide more energy than rest and acknowledge what exactly makes me feel rested. I know deep down that three nights in a row on the couch does not typically provide the relaxation and refreshness that I long for. By examining my calendar, removing items that do not matter, scheduling relational opportunities, and expanding my time for habitual hangouts, I begin to form the other two, my people and my places.

Nothing that was talked about that night comes easily. I have to ask myself daily who these people are, do I have a specific place or two that I call home, do I know what makes me feel rested. I struggle with overbooking myself to commitments that do not matter or not making them as relational as I should. As my husband and I work through a season of change, going from a very fast paced, multiple separate commitments season to a season of rest and togetherness, I want to make sure that it matters -- that this part of our lives matter in our story, in God's story. I made an easy template to help me reflect on these things last night. Feel free to reflect yourself and use it too.

Relational, Situational, and Intentional

quote credit :: donald miller, storyline

xoxo, Heather
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